An Sincere Assessment of Flamingo Property’s $82 Spicy Strawberry Fruit Snacks


For my total life, I’ve been a fruit snacks fanatic. As a toddler, I used to be indoctrinated by the seemingly limitless 90s fruit-snack-sphere: Shark Bites, Gushers, Enjoyable Fruits, and (deep reduce) Fruit Wrinkles. To at the present time, my movie-theater snack of selection is Welch’s Fruit Snacks. What, like they’re just for youngsters or one thing? One thing in regards to the gummy texture, the colourful flavors, the bite-sized format — all of it simply provides up for me into one thing higher than the sum of its elements, a marvel of contemporary meals science.

I not too long ago heard that Los Angeles-based chic-cool-stuff-brand Flamingo Property — maker of what’s in all probability the world’s greatest seasonal meals subscription field and a Swedish princess cake candle that might make you cry with its olfactory magnificence, amongst different issues — affords an grownup model of the fruit snack. Moreover, this grownup snack is offered for the notable worth of $82 per 6.5-ounce jar. Now, these aren’t simply any fruit snacks; colloquially known as “Spicy Strawberry Fruit Snacks” on the model’s web site, their longer and extra formal identify is the Juicy Strawberry Spicy Guajillo Key Lime Squeeze Fruit Snack. My intrigue swelled.

I learn the web site’s copy for this mysterious product, as soon as, after which once more.

“We took the lushest, ripest Strawberries from Harry’s Berries and dusted them with the brilliant spice of Guajillo Chiles grown by Boonville Barn Collective, including a squeeze of Key Lime and a pinch of Massive Sur Sea Salt. Then we gently dehydrated them to protect their juiciness and focus all of that quintessential Strawberry taste. The result’s these small dried wonders. Insanely addictive, candy, tart and spicy with a tasty chew. Really nature’s sweet.”

At this juncture, I paused. These “small dried wonders” sound like a poet’s interpretation of the fruit snacks served on the poolside eating menu in heaven: the one fruit snack to rule all of them. The antidote. The fruits of my needs, as a fruit snack lover. Have you learnt about Harry’s Berries? They’re, like, the Platonic supreme of strawberries; they’re a Southern California sensation set aside by their distinctive high quality, taste, sweetness, and jamminess. The strains for Harry’s Berries at any Los Angeles-area farmer’s market are usually lengthy, snaking, and unrelenting. To make these berries right into a chewy snack… remarkable, beforehand, so far as I do know.

“We’re honored to companion with the inimitable Harry’s Berries by utilizing their beautiful Strawberries. This small-batch household farm has been rising for over 50 years, and is the true definition of generational farming. Their berries symbolize what Strawberries must be at their greatest — harvested when completely ripe, ruby crimson, and candy. They’re Licensed Natural, make use of sustainable rising practices, and have a deep dedication to stewardship of the land.”

I imagined transcendence. I can admit that I yearned. I noticed sizzling folks consuming the fruit snacks on TikTok and Instagram and felt a profound sense of FOMO. A must know.

Lo and behold, I not too long ago grew to become a recipient of a jar of those storied creations. However might chewing on a Spicy Strawberry Snack so robustly exceed the enjoyment of consuming a bag of saxophone-shaped Enjoyable Fruit?

Jar procured. Photo by the author

Jar procured. Photograph by the creator

First impressions: the Strawberry Spicy Snacks undoubtedly really feel premium. The jar and label have a a lot totally different presence than the skinny plastic or foil-lined paper packets from which I’ve traditionally eaten fruit snacks. A jar feels… artisanal. Open it and also you’ll see dozens of darkish, shiny berries, glimmering like rubies with a syrupy, crystalline sweetness as an alternative of the satin end of a conventional fruit snack. Did I point out that they’re made with nearly fully natural elements (apart from the ocean salt — salt can not legally be licensed “natural”)?

Naturally, you need to know the way they style, what it’s prefer to eat them. The reply is: surprisingly advanced. At first, the stickiness was a little bit of a shock — they’re not gooey, however they undoubtedly don’t have that form of cornstarch-driven anti-stick know-how present in, say, Welch’s, or the fruit snacks of the 90s. They’re nonetheless undoubtedly finger meals, however you’ll need to offer your fingers a fast wipe or rinse after consuming. Chopsticks might be an asset right here. That mentioned, I benefit from the mouthfeel of the tiny seeds embedded within the strawberries’ surfaces, regardless of internal references in my psyche that liken jammy, seedy fruit to alien pod folks.

As for the flavour, it begins with a slight tartness that morphs right into a candy, jelly-like, traditional strawberry taste that quickly offers solution to a shocking quantity of warmth. They’re not joking — these fruit snacks are unquestionably spicy; they’re spicier than Cholula sizzling sauce, which I generously doused on my eggs this morning, however not spicy sufficient to induce any sweating. I’d say they’re on par with sizzling Takis or Flamin’ Scorching Cheetos — there’s a sluggish and delicate burn nevertheless it fades inside about 15 seconds of ending every chew. Suppose an elevated, much less tropical and extra berry-forward interpretation of chile mango.

The TL;DR is that I can affirm they’re scrumptious; a Harry’s Berry marinated in sugar, lime juice, Guajillo chile, and cayenne, because it seems, creates a chewy, tactile present of the Earth. They’re candy however in an grownup approach; piquant however not in a approach that’s limiting. They’re very chewy, a top quality which I each take pleasure in and, as a TMJ sufferer, lament. Some berries (sorry, “snacks”) require a stable 15+ seconds of forceful chewing. In truth, I like them so much, however would solely eat just a few at a time. Savor them. Don’t let the magic develop into routine.

As for the value tag — which, at $82 per jar, is undoubtedly eye-popping — let’s break it down a bit. Flamingo Property says that there are three kilos of Harry’s Berries in each jar, and a pound of Harry’s Berries prices $20 (or, from some sellers, practically $30). Positive, Flamingo Property certainly buys them wholesale, however proper there, we’re $60+ of the jar’s worth mathematically expressed by means of the price of the berries alone. Then there are the opposite natural elements, the cooking and drying course of, and the necessity for a revenue margin, and also you’re $82.

Whereas it’s a discourse-worthy price ticket, it’s not terribly totally different than, say, the actually costly fruit in Japan that’s particularly developed for items and holidays— this isn’t a chill pantry addition for informal on a regular basis consumption, though if that’s a risk with the Scrooge McDuck gold swimming pool you’re working with, by all means. This isn’t a commodity that you simply’re going to purchase in bulk and maintain jars of readily available always. This can be a special day fruit snack. A present fruit snack. A luxurious fruit snack. They’re a snack, and so they’re definitely fruit, however I’m undecided they fully embody the thought of a fruit snack I’ve had in my thoughts for the reason that days of Gushers.

By the way in which, these could also be fruit snacks, however my private perception system dictates that they’re not for teenagers. Purchase your rugrats some regular gummy sweet and ship them exterior to play within the dust and develop an immune system. If Fruit Wrinkles nonetheless existed, I’d say get them a few of these. (RIP.) (Please carry again Fruit Wrinkles.)

A case might be made that to ensure that the world to take care of stability, there have to be not solely a really low cost, accessible model of any given product, but additionally a extremely refined, elite model. There’s $6 caviar on Amazon, and there may be $2,600 caviar at Bergdorf Goodman. There’s the $7 olive oil at Grocery Outlet and there may be the $119 olive oil at Williams Sonoma. You already know, it’s like that Byrds track — there’s a time and place for all issues.

So why wouldn’t there be $1.49 fruit snacks and in addition $82 fruit snacks? And if the latter exists, why wouldn’t we need to strive them… at the very least as soon as?

Spicy Strawberry Fruit Snacks can be found at Flamingo Property.





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